So essentially this tiny parenting mistake has drastically altered my life. I couldn’t play sports, which changed who I hung out with. I had a very sheltered social life because I was always working.

It was stated that this is something they should do so they shouldn’t be rewarded for it. I’d like to change your perspective, when you are at work… your duties are something you should do. Going to school is the real world, I would like to see life in general be operated as a corporation. Your kids stay home sick, they don’t get paid, that is real world. On the same note teach them about taxes. Who knows you might raise the next bill gates.

If your kids get all A’s at the end of the school year they get a bonus. This will also help teach savings because in the summer when they are “off” they keep their childhood and can do whatever they want.

Think of a video game, if you play it every day.. (as some people do) you’ll eventually get good at it, if you continue doing it you might be the best at it.

If you start at an early age doing things to be rewarded(lets face it, life is about money) think about how well they will do in the long run. They have 12 years of having “do good in school” pounded into them. When they go to college they’ll have the same mentality. When they get into the work will do great.

If they have to work while going to school, thats like two jobs…

Im just saying I’m struggling in school right now because I have to focus on paying the bills and I have traced my problems to this situation (this has been my whole life)

clawz

kids wake up get dressed go to “work” get home exhausted without pay

notice a pattern?

maybe kids wont drop out if they have propper reason to stay in the words of that great philosopher “everything is possible through a bribe.”

everyone knows through reward things prosper why cant we grasp this possibility? the only reason kids dont get paid is to increase the supieriorness of adults sure dont give them all the power but it might help if you gave them a little compensation once in a while

excuse me if im ranting but its a pretty good topic

by:clawz

I get straight A’s(maybe 1 A- every now and then) in my school and am in several extracurriculars. It would be nice to get paid, but if the kid is already performing well, it shouldn’t be much of an issue UNLESS you think that schoolwork will soon be much harder.

With that being said, I don’t see a problem with rewarding kids financially for good grades, although mine never rewarded me.

Maybe using grades as a allowance pay scale could be a good idea. Each report card could set the tone for that report card period. GPA could be used to determine a regular allowance wage.

I have know idea what allowances are these days, but here is a formula I just made up of the top of my head:

[GPA-Unacceptable] x Rate = Allowance

Example 1:

Your son Michael brings home a report card with a 3.29 GPA. He is not allowed to get less than a 2.5 GPA (C average). His Pay rate is $10. And his allowance is paid weekly.

[3.29-2.5] x $10 = $7.90 per week

Example 2:

Your daughter Rachel brings home a report card with a 3.50 GPA. she is not allowed to get less than a 2.5 GPA (C average). Her Pay rate is $10. And her allowance is paid weekly.

[3.5 - 2.5] x $10 = $10 per week

Your other son Paul brings home a report card with a 4.0 GPA. He is not allowed to get less than a 2.5 GPA (C average). His Pay rate is $10. And his allowance is paid weekly.

[4.0-2.5] x $10 = $15 per week

Example 4:

Your oldest daughter Megan is a senior and highschool, and brings home a report card with a 3.50 GPA. she is not allowed to get less than a 2.5 GPA (C average). Her Pay rate is $15 because she is older. And her allowance is paid weekly.

[3.5-2.5] x $15 = $15 per week

If you want to be really mean, you could even charge or fine your kids if they get less than the unacceptable GPA.

[2.36-2.5] x $15 = -$2.10 fee per week

This teaches kids that hard work is rewarded, and there are consequences for their actions. It is also a good segway to teach about personal finance and money management. For those worried about the kids not doing what is expected, that what chores are for.

My child has a learning disability (diagnosed by 3 psychologists and 1 psychiatrist and all teachers who ever dealt with this child). I am now giving the child a money reward system for good grades, even C’s. We also set timers for homework completion, and turned on the closed captioning on the tv so tv time is extra reading time. These measures ares helping the child to stay focused in class, more willing to do extra homework, and I’m even able to cut down on the medicines now. The child is very proud of the $42 in the wallet, and the little toys she is able to buy.

My answer is that it depends on the child.

Children that would otherwise “do poorly” in school, then money for grades may be the added incentive needed. But, it has to be part of an overall plan.

I personally was never compensated for anything; everything I did was for my parents or, “the good of the family.” Chores were something I was asked to do and did because it made my parent’s lives easier. However I was a special case perhaps because I DID care for parent’s well being.

My academics were something which my parents told me I needed to do well in to succeed. I was never paid for grades, I was happy enough to see their smiling faces.

Went I got my first car it was because I was doing well in school and was accepted into a REALLY hard college prep school which they were glad to pay for. I still wasn’t paid for grades though they did take me out to a nice restaurant if I did well one semester. I also got my first allowance, a debit card, and a bad idea.

I’m not a high maintenance person so I never really asked for things when I was a kid, nor did I do anything out of the ordinary when I was high school. Gas, lunch with friends after school, movies, pretty normal stuff, but it never really taught me the value of money.

Truth be told I could have done much better while I was there, only the first year I really had to study. Once my parents saw this they decided job time!

Now comes the realization of a lifetime. Between my Dad losing his job, college looming, finding a job, and losing our house. I became aware of our financial problems.

By informing your kids of the problems or limitations your budget faces it really motivates them to help (in my opinion) I cut back on everything (not that I had a choice, got a job ect)

That’s my experience at least . . .

I on the other hand maintained a 3.9 throughout my four years at school, my parents helped me out where they could, but I took out loans and worked several jobs to pay for my daily expenses (despite several scholarships). I was certainly never paid for getting good grades… I worked hard for my own personal satisfaction, and in order to be competitive for graduate school and jobs once I graduated.

Fast forward to graduation, and my roommate had zero work experience (except for a few summer jobs) to put on her resume, while I had compiled a list of worthwhile work experiences and professional contacts. It would have been nice to not have to work during college like my roommate, but I think in the long run I benefited the most from those professional experiences and connections that I was able to establish while still in school. If my parents had paid me 1500 a semester, I may not have been motivated to get out and find those jobs.

One thing my husband and I have learned about parenting from discussing our childhood experiences is that each child reacts to specific punishments/rewards differently. Using money as a reward might work with one child but won’t with another so we have decided to leave money out of it entirely.

We plan to make it clear from the beginning that punishments AND rewards are not tied to money and will be tailored to the child and the situation. There are many ways to reward a child without handing over cold hard cash, not the least of which is some extra quality time spent with them or letting them choose the family activity for an evening.

Paying for grades: This could add up to some type of investment in the long run. If your children pull good grades for the money then they may qualify for a scholarship that will help you or them out when they do go to college.

Youngest (10 year old) gets $10 every two weeks allowance (not tied to chores). The 17 year old gets $80 a month in a checking account but has to pay for everything (she also has a job). The college kids gets $300 month spending money (she also has a job). I spend a ton on my kids and don’t think they’ve been unmotivated just because I pay for grades or give allowances not based on work done.

From someone that’s been through it, don’t lose any sleep over whether your way is the right way or not, because it REALLY doesn’t matter much in the great scheme of life. Don’t over think these things.

This isn’t necessarily the “right” policy, but this is probably going to be my policy with my kid, who is due this April:

I think a monetary reward for the child’s very best work is good. If I know he could be doing better, I will not reward him. I will also reward him for performing jobs that aren’t part of a normal day (my parents paid me for working on the farm).

With that money earned (along with xmas/birthday gifts, etc.) he will have 3 piggy banks: 10% will go to charity/church, 45% will each go to “permanent savings” and “spending money.”

This will hopefully teach him how to save, and it will teach him how to be responsible with his money.

Lots of opinions and good arguments for both sides. I’ll just throw in what we do for our three girls.

They get a special night out for good grades – this can be a night bowling, a special place to eat out, etc. I don’t view this as paying them off, but as a celebration of their hard work. And yes, if one does not meet our criteria laid out for her, then she does not get to pick.

Our kids are expected to help out around the house a lot. They fill and empty the dishwasher, clean the house (their part of the house) weekly, feed and care for the animals, and take care of the trash. They also get an allowance. Allowance is based on age which also correlates with their level of responsibility around the house. If they don’t follow through on their responsibilities they get allowance docked (as well as additional punishments if need be). We view the allowance as a training tool for life while the jobs around the house are a part of being a family.

Eric

I personally do not believe in paying kids for good grades. Allowances in our house are tied to chores as in life you get paid for the work you have done.

If a child brings me a report card and they have done especially well I give them a gift that they can pick or that I have purchased previously and held(value – no more than twenty dollars).

However, our kids do have grandparents who pay a set amount per grade.

As far as report cards go, our oldest is a straight “A” student, and his younger sister does well, too. When they bring home a good report card, they get to choose a special activity, such as inviting a friend to go see a movie (on us) or to go bowling, swimming at the rec center, etc. We see this more as a celebration of their achievement than as “payment” for good grades. They really look forward to these special activities.

Whatever motivations works, i will try.

Example from the business world: What motivates a sales rep and a programmer are often very different.

I think I’ve learned that it truly depends on the kid. For example when I was young and naive and my kids were small LOL, I was first getting into the ‘responsible personal finance’ thing after years of NOT. So one idea I liked was teaching the kids about work and money and tying chores to allowance.

This SO did not work. My kids response? Eh. I don’t need the money [which is great - they are NO spoiled with 'things' btw]
So they didn’t do the chores.
Then I realized that part of life is dealing with your life, cleaning up, putting away, helping out etc. And you should just do it because there’s no cleaning service around here!

We now handle things exactly how you’ve outlined – for example my extremely ‘motherly’ 10yo dd does not get paid for helping me out with her sibs on occassion, drawing a bath, finding a pair of shoes etc, but when we were on vacation last month and she was unrelentingly helpful WITHOUT being asked and truly made the trip so much more FUN for me by relieving some of our burden I a) told her often and b) bought her a little souvenier she wanted in appreciation [that she did not ask me to buy, she was willing to pay for it herself] and told her why.

When she’s a little older I’ll expect her to watch her sibs for a little while gratis when I drop one off at an activity just like I chauffeur her, but if I ask her to stay home on a Saturday night so I can go out with Dad I will pay her.

Soon after I started high school, I stopped doing most of the assigned homework. Not because it was too challenging, or not challenging enough, but because I realized there was nothing in it for me, and I had other things to spend my time on. I received no satisfaction from getting A’s in classes that didn’t interest me in the first place, and I didn’t buy into the idea that I should do whatever parents and teachers expected me to do just because they were born before me.

Toward the end, I was offered a monetary reward, and it helped somewhat. I finally had a reason to care about my grades: the schoolwork was the same, but doing it was no longer a waste of my time. It was too late to make much difference, though. I managed to graduate anyway, thanks to excellent test performance, but there was a huge gap between my final GPA and my SAT scores.

So the monetary incentive raised my grades, was that the right thing for my parents to do? I’m not so sure. It raised my grades a little, but so what? Ultimately it made no difference. Even if they had started earlier, and I had graduated with a respectable GPA, so what? My high school grades are no more relevant to my life today than they were back then. The skills I use to earn a living as an adult are skills I gained by pursuing my own interests *instead* of doing homework! My folks could’ve saved their money and made things easier on everyone by simply ignoring my report cards.

He gets good grades and we don’t pay him extra money for his grades – however, if his grades are exceptional (an average over 97 or so), then I will give him a “bonus” – not a lot of money, but enough to show him that his hard work is appreciated and rewarded (usually about enough to buy a new CD).

He also knows his good grades may be his ride for college and that’s his “real” motivation for him to keep up the good grades.

We get salaries for doing our jobs, and if we do an outstanding job, we used to get bonuses (I don’t know anyone getting those anymore), so I think an occasional bonus for exceptional work is warranted with my child as well.

But, results may vary – it definitely depends on the child, their level of self-motivation and the effort they put in to get their grades.

Allowance was for chores, but it wasn’t strict. What was strict, was that on Saturday mornings when we (sister and I) got our allowance, a portion of it of our choosing went into our savings account. We wrote our deposit slips, parents checked them and we went into to the bank to deposit them. This helps immensely when kids become adults and must balance a checkbook.

You should provide positive reinforcement for desirable behavior to increase its frequency. However, the key is this line in your post: “we do give our kids a little something extra when they go above and beyond the call of duty…”

There is a chapter on the book named “Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion” by Robert Ciadini, there was a specific chapter in which he mentioned that the key to deliver reinforcement is to find the minimum reinforcer for the situation so that when the reinforced individual think back, the reinforcer was so insignficant so that they think they did it because that was their preference.

I intend to reward my kids in the same fashion you outlined, and focusing on behaviors that requires active effort on their side.