I think she is wasting her money, but she sees it as money well spent! Perspectives can be SOOO different.

Very few people value money and their purchases the same way. A friend once told me a story about his mother. She was spending all kinds of money on boarding her cats and buying them special shampoo and toys. He told her she was wasting her money. She replied, “What would you waste it on?”

What one person thinks is worth spending their money on is a complete waste to someone else. If you and your partner are in this situation, one way to cope is to pool money on common expenses like housing, utilities, and cell phone bills. But give a pool of money – generally the same amount – for them to spend however they want. I buy clothes and go out with my friends while my husband likes to buy electronics. If this system doesn’t work, find one that does or money will be a major problem!

I am a very frugal person…anyone who reads my blog will know this. But I have a fiancee who likes to spend more than I do. He is definitely responsible with his money (pays credit card off each month with no finance charges, saves money, etc.), but it still does not make me feel secure enough. We recently combined our finances and put me in charge of them (the financial guru if you will!), and we are definitely feeling some growing pains.

The good thing is that when your partner is different from you, it forces you both to compromise so that you balance each other out. I could certainly use enjoying my money more, and he could use saving more money. Perfect combo is in the middle!

I moved in with my girlfriend this year. We remember to keep going on dates. Sometimes I make dinner and set it up on the porch. Some days are pizza to go and we eat in the park. We’ve gone to the library, rented movies, NetFlix, drinks under a blanket outside, lunch instead of dinner (cheaper), hiked, biked and walked up a hill to watch the moon rise.

Frankly, I remember these dates more than the ones when I spent money trying to impress her.

My husband and I make all our decisions together and buy into the same plan – makes for a great marriage!

Money is the #1 reason for divorce – great advice!

It was a mindset changed that took a while when my wife when we moved in together.

The biggest thing that has helped us is sitting down and doing a monthly review each month. We review the budget, calculate net worth, and a few other things.

The biggest thing is communication. It takes a while but keep on communicating and you will get to where you want to be.

This is definitely giving me some food for thought.

I am going to have a tough time initially when I start living with someone. Hopefully she’ll be the patient kinds

@Dan: Great point. I’ll need to “sit down and talk” about it often with mine (whenever I get one).

One thing that helped is involving her in the long term planning process. We have mutually agreed goals. And when it gets too tight in one area, I ask her if she wants to revisit the budget from another area. I want her to be happy, so I give her the choice.

Case in point: We’re getting married at the end of the year, on the mother of all frugal budgets. We’re also planning on doing some extensive traveling next year. When we really started to feel just how tight the wedding budget really is, I asked her if she wants to push off the wedding a few months and skip or reduce the travel budget. I got this really stern “no” look. To which I replied, “well honey, I really love you, and we’re just going to have to make the best of what we’ve got for this one.”

I do talk about finances a lot around the house. She told me she never heard anybody talk about money so much. I told her that’s because it’s easier to make smaller corrections along the way than it is to find out you really screwed the pooch at the end of the month.

But I think she totally understood how important planning is with this wedding. You see, her older sister got married 14 years ago, and her parents threw her a $13k wedding. Today, her parents are divorced and broke, and can contribute hardly anything. She told me they ran into an inheritance back then. I told her that’s all fine and good, but I have one simple question: Did they ever think you would never get married? “No.” Well how the heck did they think your wedding would be paid for? I followed up by saying that “we’ll figure it out later” didn’t work for her parents, and it won’t work for us.

So take it easy, and I think ‘consider others first’ is an excellent piece of advice. Don’t drive away your loved ones for the sake of a few digits in a bank account.

To that end we are now ordering cable tv for the first time in our marriage so that my wife wife can watch HGTV and project runway (shudder). It’s a small sacrifice for me, but one I’m willing to make for our larger goals – and to keep my wife motivated and with me!