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Letting go of financial stress

Written by Suba Iyer - 6 Comments

I love the holidays. Family, fun, time off … somehow everyone seems to be more cheerful this time of the year, which makes me smile. But it also means more parties, entertaining, decorating and gifts. Adding a new house and a baby (and the sleeplessness that comes along with it) to the mix this year, the stress of the holidays has slightly surpassed the cheer. As a control freak when it comes to money, financial stress is a big part of the equation.

Am I staying on top of the bills or with my mind hazy without sleep did I miss one? Will I end up paying a late fee? Now that I have my own house, how much decorating is good enough? With all the friends and family visiting to spend time with the baby, will I do a good enough job entertaining and be a good host? How much should I spend to make them comfortable? Should I furnish all the guest bedrooms in one go? Do we have enough money to handle all the bills come January? It goes on and on. The more I get worked up, the more my mind just shuts down and the stress level goes through the roof!

I can’t let this happen. I won’t let this happen. I have worried about money before. A lot. But I was living paycheck to paycheck then. I have worked really hard to get out of that situation so all these worries are bothering me even more.

What can I do to let go of the financial stress?

After I broke down and cried for a while, I decided it is time I did something to let go of my stress. I have a beautiful baby to enjoy and this is not the time to worry about something that might not even be an issue. It is hard. I know it is not as simple as it sounds, but I am going to let it go. Here is what I decided to do to eliminate unnecessary stress:

Take a deep breath. I tried to prepare as best as I could ahead of time. We are no longer living paycheck to paycheck. And if the relatives are not happy with whatever I can do, it is not my problem. I tried and that is all I can do.

Do not tackle the mail as it comes. Sort the mail as it comes, set the bills aside and only open the mail that needs immediate attention. The rest can wait until later to be handled.

Slay the temptation to shop the stress away. As someone who has done a lot of emotional shopping in the past, I know this is something I have to continually watch. Shopping will give me a very temporary “high” feeling, but it will certainly add to my stress level as soon as I leave the mall thinking about where in the budget I will find the money to pay for it.

Set aside a certain time of the week to tackle all the financial issues. I do not have to check my credit card or review our budget every single day. I should set aside a couple of hours every week to review all the bills, pay them and review the spending. If I do it as they come, I forget what has been paid already and how much is left over in the account. It adds to the confusion and my stress.

Delegate the tasks to someone else. So far I have always handled all the finances myself. My husband has offered to help but because I enjoy doing it and he doesn’t, I have never taken him up on his offer. Now, I will. I know I will also feel an urge to double-check if everything has been done correctly, and that is something I need to keep in check.

Let go of perfection. I do not have to have the perfect holiday meal cooked for everyone or have a house decorated like it came out of a catalog. There is limited time and I should adjust my expectation to a realistic level.

Question my worries. This is something my husband taught me to do. Whenever I feel down, I should ask “why.” Why do I worry about this? Is there a basis for my worry? What is the worst that could happen if I miss one bill or pay a late fee? Will that break our budget? Will worrying about it do something to better the situation? If not, what is the point in getting stressed?

Do something nice for myself. Meditate. Vent. Spend some alone time. Cook a nice meal. Sleep. Take some time to volunteer. Enjoy a cup of hot chocolate by the fire.

There is worrying and there is preparing. I should prepare the best I can, which I believe I have, and let go of the things that are not in my control instead of worrying about it.

This is a wonderful time of the year. I should try to concentrate on the fun part — see my daughter grow every day, spend time with my family, enjoy putting up the decorations together, and savor the great little moments in my life, not the worries inside my brain.

Published on November 18th, 2013 - 6 Comments
Filed under: Uncategorized

About the author: is the founder and editor-in-chief of this site. He's a thirty-something family man who has been writing about personal finance since 2005, and guess what? He's on Twitter!

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6 Responses to “Letting go of financial stress”

  1. 1
    Shobir | Find Some Money Says:

    Letting go of stress can really help you progress your finances. There was a time when any post especially bills use to depress me, I now tackle the problem head on and organize my day so that all the letters from my banks and credit cards are dealt with. Clearing your financial desk really unleashes your creative side. Thanks for sharing this great post.

  2. 2
    Nick | Millionaires Giving Money Says:

    Financial stress is like a noose on your neck, the quicker you remove the stress the better your life will be. One of my character flaws was I always aimed for perfection and as a result I was not prepared to try anything until I was perfect at it (Never Happens). I’ve let go of this frame of mind and now I’m slowly but surely making financial progress. Thanks for sharing, really starting to enjoy reading this blog.

  3. 3
    Imran @ Xomba Says:

    I removed my financial stress from credit cards and bank bills by getting onto a debt management plan through a qualified free debt practitioner. I use to lie awake at nights thinking about my burden, I now make one payment with zero interest and I’m slowly but surely making a difference to my debt, I get a decent’s night sleep too. Nice article.

  4. 4
    L Rob Says:

    I know the feeling of shopping your worries away. It seems like depression and shopping go together! There’s always the urge to forget all worries and just buy the first thing you see.

    It’s fine to indulge just as long as you know your limit. And that when the bills come, you won’t be depressed farther!

  5. 5
    James Rich Says:

    Wow, really nice article. It is very helpful to get rid of financial stress.

    Thanks for sharing.
    Keep posting the good stuff.

  6. 6
    Paul Says:

    Letting the less important mail wait. I do that all the time. I now have a 4 foot tall box of less important mail that has accumulated to the top. I don’t think I will ever get around to opening it.

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